Am I scared? Am I anxious? Am I excited?
Yes, to all of the above.
I’m scared because of the unknown.
I’m now a 40-something woman who knows what she wants and how she likes things, but I also have this other side of me that craves the unknown. There’s the me that wants to take a leap of faith and just toss the schedule and just go for it.
I’m scared what full time travelling will do to our marriage.
My husband is usually eager to discover new things and ‘live like a local”. Then other times, when he’s anxious or hungry, (Note: I must feed the bear!) he becomes the obnoxious, impatient “tourist” we all dread running into. What will happen when we’re traveling full time? I have no idea how he will react to living on the road.
Our mantra over the years became “It’s not weird or wrong, it’s different.” I will need to embroider that and put it on a pillow for him. But, as we say on the blog – and wholeheartedly believe – travelling connects you and it does for us. I need to embroider THAT on a pillow as a reminder for myself.
I am scared to leave my daughter behind.
I know that she is capable of managing on her own, but I won’t be close enough to ‘pop over’ if she’s in trouble. My baby will be in the world, claiming her own part of it, without me next to her (I think this is a typical ‘empty nester’ worry though!)
Compounding my anxiety, I’m a worrier by nature.
I think about the details over and over and over again in my head, whether it’s for a quick camping trip or a full time adventure.
I see the route. I see the packing list of stuff going into the bag. I have contingency plans all over the place.
I worry about Natalie and how she’ll cope with all of it.
How she’ll feel about being left to University while I’m off traveling the world. I mean, she’s known this plan forever, but once it’s happening, will she feel left behind?
She won’t be. We’ve talked about it quite extensively. She’s just as excited to pursue her love of Ancient History and see what Uni life will bring to her life. Besides, she is and will always be, my home base. I foresee her meeting up in various places in the world. There are places in the world I want to share with her: Naples for one, Athens for another. She’s a lover of ancient history so I know she’ll devour these places.
I worry that our business won’t sustain our travels, our life.
We’ve been working on this plan now for four years. It’s only been the last 6 months that things are starting to click into place, but we still have a long way to go.
Yet, with all of that, I’m freakin’ excited.
I mean, this is a major piece of my life I’ve been waiting for. They say ‘don’t wish your life away’ and I took that to heart when I heard it.
I’m not wishing. I’m planning.
I’ve had a plan in my head for a very long time. Now it’s time to put those plans on paper and go for it. It’s time to jump into the deep end.
There will never be enough money but I am a hard worker and I know it will work out. I feel it. I can’t say how, but I just know.